Calm Your Lamas
by crook-spanks
Summary: Ron and Hermione fight. Neville counts down. Harry and Ginny bet. One-shot, please review! Rated for mild swearing.


**A/N:** Just a short one-shot to ease my mind. Love these two.  
Review!

hugs

missgeorgeweasley

* * *

Harry heard a door slam and muffled shouts. He glanced at Ginny, who raised her eyebrows and shook her head. Next to him, he heard Neville slowly counting down.

"Five. Four. Three. Two-"

"I FUCKING HATE YOU, RONALD!" Hermione Granger screamed, plummeting to the bottom of the stairs.

"You hate me now do you? You _hate_ me? Only five minutes ago you were moaning my name!" Ron yelled back, fists clenched.

"Shut up! You know I don't like talking about that in public," Hermione hissed, reddening.

"Screw that. You were fucking all over me up there! I didn't say her bloody name!"  
"Yes you bloody well did!"

"No, I bloody well didn't!"  
"We were kissing and then you said, 'Oh, Lavender,' I mean, come on, what the _fuck_!" Hermione screamed. Collectable gasps were heard from around the common room.

"You never let me finish! If you had let me finish, you would've realised I was going to say: oh, Lavender was never as good as you are!" Ron yelled back, his cheeks flushed.

"Hey!" Lavender said, pouting slightly.

"Oh, shove it where the sun don't shine." Hermione told Lavender angrily. Several people laughed, Lavender flushed and looked away. "You're so fucking annoying, Ronald. I give you everything, _everything_, and what do you give me? Your ex-girlfriends name while we're making out!"

Ron stood there, fuming. Hermione grinned in victory, her arms folded. "No comeback, huh?"  
"No. I left my comeback in your mum's mouth." He hissed angrily. Hermione's mouth dropped open and she swiftly slapped him across the face. The hand mark forming quickly on his cheek could've been seen from the Slytherin Dungeons. The audience watched in awe, this was a new thing. Not the slap, that was routine, but the dirty comebacks.

"You foul mouthed, horrible, ignorant, absolute _prat_ of a boyfriend! You don't deserve to be with someone like me! That was a horrible thing to say! My mother is NOT A PAEDOPHILE!"  
"I didn't say she was. Merlin, woman, calm your flippin' lamas!" Ron replied huffily.

"How do you know what a lama is?" Hermione asked curiously, any anger towards the redhead completely gone.

"I read in that book you gave me. Can't remember what it's called. It had a lama in it and it spat in some captains face. Calm and lama rhyme, sorta," Ron said, shrugging slightly.

"You read a book I gave to you?" Hermione said, her eyes shining. By now, most of the onlookers had begun to get bored of the weekly ritual and had resumed their previous activities. Only a few remained intrigued by this couple.

"Pretty sure you call them comics or something…"  
"Tintin!"  
"That's the one, love," Ron replied, smiling sheepishly. "Come 'ere!" He added, opening his arms. Hermione smiled and walked forward and gave him a hug. He wrapped his arms around her neck and kissed her head.

"Sorry I called you a foul mouthed, horrible, ignorant, absolute prat of a boyfriend. You're not really. You're foul mouthed and a boyfriend, but that's it." Hermione whispered into his chest.  
"Sorry I said I left my comeback in your mum's mouth. I didn't mean it like that." He said, blushing softly.

"I know. I love you."  
"Love you, 'Mione." He pulled away and slung an arm carelessly over her shoulders. "Shall we get back to what we were doing? Promise not to mention Lavender, swear it."  
"Okay," Hermione said.

Harry, Ginny and Neville watched the couple ascend the steps up to the dormitories. Harry sighed loudly and shook his head in amazement.

"Forty-five minutes till the next one. Double or nothing." Harry whispered to Ginny, handing her over two galleons.

"You're on. They won't have one again 'till tomorrow. Sucker." Ginny replied, grinning and pocketing the money.

"One." Neville finished breathlessly.

* * *

**A/N:** Whatcha think? Bless Neville and easy money! When do you reckon their next fight will be?  
Don't forget to review, lovelies!

hugs

missgeorgeweasley


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